This week ending 06/07/07, I have received 12 EDD spam, a bit disappointing really, maybe they are finally giving up on my “extended period of effectiveness”
Did you know these nice people are concerned about my relationship with my partner, concerned about my “pressure to perform”. Well I really never have the pressure to perform, it just sort of happens, sort explodes out of me. Like, when I suddenly decided I would do a spontaneous tap dance in the kitchen. I did workshop some movement ideas last night, in the lounge room, in an effort to get warm. Do you really think my “performance” has anything to do with “heightened Libido”?
I suppose some people would wonder when I bash a tambourine, or punch a chocolate santa in the face, let alone stuff a heart shaped chocolate cake in my mouth followed by swigging a glass of champagne. Yet I work “fast”, work “effectively”, I am “ready” and I very rarely “plan around meals”, although, I have found some performance I really need to “relax and take the time”
The “fact is, when taken correctly”, “ 10 pills…20pills…30 pills…60 pills…90 pills”, will produce a “heightened” state of “soma” and I am not talking a “sugar pill”, for “up to 36 hours and in as fast as 30 minutes” with “up to 5 times more semen volume” in that “stone-hard manhood” Whoa! Bit scarey really, do you think you really want to be around for that?
Soma was the drink of the gods to which they owed their wisdom and immortality. In the earthly rituals its intoxicating properties gave man an ecstasy that filled them with spirit and identified them with the gods. It is possible, I suppose that it “enlarged penis length and girth” but it was not an “innovation in male enhancement”
“Kathie Kirk”, I don’t pretend to know her, beleives you need not “have a problem” when you can have a “good erection”.
Can you imagine being a man and looking down at your erect penis and saying “Oh good erection, you are such a good erection, what shall we do today oh good erection?”
No wonder “men like having them” it gives them something to talk to and of course “women love receiving” a “good erection”, although I am sure some women have been known to beat them off, in the more unwanted sense of the term, saying “Oh bad erection, Oh bad bad erection! Get away from me and out of my sight!”
Does bring a certain Monty Python sketch to mind
So I think I might just leave that all there.
Julie
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The EDD Diary #2 - "Surround the Modifier Keys"
This week ending 29/06/07 I have received 21 Erectile Dysfunction Disorder (EDD) spam
“The lowlands of venus lie between the thumb and the forefinger of the continent known as Hand”
I have some stories to share with you. “I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog”, well, I suppose not in that order, however “you should know that you’re not alone”. “You should know there is something”, like my friend “Albert”, who made a “fresh start in Milan”, which was a much “freer, sunnier life than had been possible in Germany”. Meanwhile, “I indulged in a lot of mind-numbing preparations, mostly Margaritas, my poison of choice, and kept a nervous weather eye open for signs of
impending depression” and “the very best prices for the best drugs”. I was told, “When the time is right you will always be ready”. “I increased my pace somewhat after that”.
My friend “Paula Padilla” is always worrying about erections, she believes you can “have unbelievable sex 24/7” I worry about whether we have everything we need and will this “Heightened libido” give me “faster recoil strength”. “Perhaps you haven’t words for it ( I know I didn’t when I was a boot)” but I wait for “the latest message started, coming in from the rescue ship.”
“Richard Rich” pretends he knows me, he has “orgasm power” and is participating “in the ongoing worldwide penis enhancement drive”. “Your lady can’t have orgasms?” he pronounces, well, “Time to get started” and “Be all you can be!!” His friend “Thomas Vaughn” also has “orgasm power”, he believes “sex can keep you” “alive”. “Arnold Harding”, another associate, is Mr “sexual energy”, but judging from his last statement - “Women…walking away when they see you naked”? well, “stop it with Penis Enlarge Patch”! - I guess he gets a bit of help. They all told me about another guy “Joseph ‘penis loader’ Glass”, who was supposedly a “sexual giant all night long” but unfortunately, this got him into a bit of trouble and he developed the unhappy reputation of being the “hymen destroyer”. They said, “The commission was deliberating behind this door and there his fate would be decided.”
“Fatma Buch”, probably one of the more sane in this unlikely bunch, wants to write a book entitled “40 difficulties maintaining erections” which looks into this era of media hype around EDD. Her sequel will be titled “ 40 difficulties getting treatment” subtitled “ If a relaxing moment turns into the right moment, will you be ready?” This will be an ironic survey of the side effect of man in perpetual drug induced erection. I think it will have lots of farcical far-side influenced caricatures and probably will no doubt, be a laugh. She will dedicate it “with best regards” to the late “Ronald ‘orgasmotron’ Velasquez” who was famous for saying “After taking Penis Enlarge Patch your dick will be big enough to reach your mouth”. Well I imagine “in the past, this has been very embarrassing”
One day I was sick of this talk. I just wanted to “forget about” all these “ ED problems”. I turned to “Richard Rich” and said “In Chechnya they call you “the man with a bullet in his head” for your pluck.” But “As Piggy says, life’s scientific but we don’t know do we. “ They” all “looked at me with revulsion”
My crazy Grandfather was often known to bellow - “My hell, and Ireland’s, is in this life”. He was a troubled visionary with many stories to be told. The lack of integrity of the corporate political masses would drive him insane. He said “things were more or less managed on a need-to-know basis” “Sometimes he wanted to shout at them” – “I Vidimo, rodnik…na poedinok v tot zhe god…On zhe svetoch, poimaesh okazalsia v ee rukah” - (this, he told me was an ancient eastern dialect) which he translated to “ I have become, it seems to me, the apex of an isosceles triangle, supported by twin deities, the wild god of memory and the lotus-goddess of the present.”
He told me about a time during the war, when a fellow soldier was brought to order on the rape of a village girl. He said “ Ampleforth marched clumsily out between the guards, his face vaguely perturbed, but uncomprehending. He still seemed out of breath”. The girl was with a woman of the village. He said – I will never forget “ the girl’s face stained with dirt and tears, holding the woman’s arm looking up at her for a sign to cry.”
He divulged once that “thirty different species of birds visited him and sat on the sill outside his shuttered window conversing about this and that” and that a long time ago while out on a boat he had witnessed an ancient sea creature briefly, - “it rises to the surface and turns its belly, which is covered with fine hairs, upwards into the air” before sinking slowly back to the watery depths, he re-counted. He had captured this in drawings and “his hands began to tremble” as “he laid the pictures carefully on the desk”. This was a magical moment and one of many. Another time he handed me a beautiful stone, a stone of special properties, he said, it had been entrusted to him by an old soothsayer in the mountains, (again somewhere in the east). He described how his friend “Wingover took the crystal, and the green color faded from the mage” He said this was all part of solving the riddle of this time and “When that day comes I will have something that they don’t have”. But now, he said “only one problem remained, which had no picture at all, but only letters”.
The last piece of advice he left me with was “ To manually move the robot just place it anywhere else on the map”
He passed away many years ago. “An extra route has been created in the routing table” now. Sometimes I wish I could “choose reset to restore the default library”
Anyway “Good health to you” my friends
Julie
Ps “My dog and are still alive : )”
Pps “play again by pressing the space bar”
“The lowlands of venus lie between the thumb and the forefinger of the continent known as Hand”
I have some stories to share with you. “I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog”, well, I suppose not in that order, however “you should know that you’re not alone”. “You should know there is something”, like my friend “Albert”, who made a “fresh start in Milan”, which was a much “freer, sunnier life than had been possible in Germany”. Meanwhile, “I indulged in a lot of mind-numbing preparations, mostly Margaritas, my poison of choice, and kept a nervous weather eye open for signs of
impending depression” and “the very best prices for the best drugs”. I was told, “When the time is right you will always be ready”. “I increased my pace somewhat after that”.
My friend “Paula Padilla” is always worrying about erections, she believes you can “have unbelievable sex 24/7” I worry about whether we have everything we need and will this “Heightened libido” give me “faster recoil strength”. “Perhaps you haven’t words for it ( I know I didn’t when I was a boot)” but I wait for “the latest message started, coming in from the rescue ship.”
“Richard Rich” pretends he knows me, he has “orgasm power” and is participating “in the ongoing worldwide penis enhancement drive”. “Your lady can’t have orgasms?” he pronounces, well, “Time to get started” and “Be all you can be!!” His friend “Thomas Vaughn” also has “orgasm power”, he believes “sex can keep you” “alive”. “Arnold Harding”, another associate, is Mr “sexual energy”, but judging from his last statement - “Women…walking away when they see you naked”? well, “stop it with Penis Enlarge Patch”! - I guess he gets a bit of help. They all told me about another guy “Joseph ‘penis loader’ Glass”, who was supposedly a “sexual giant all night long” but unfortunately, this got him into a bit of trouble and he developed the unhappy reputation of being the “hymen destroyer”. They said, “The commission was deliberating behind this door and there his fate would be decided.”
“Fatma Buch”, probably one of the more sane in this unlikely bunch, wants to write a book entitled “40 difficulties maintaining erections” which looks into this era of media hype around EDD. Her sequel will be titled “ 40 difficulties getting treatment” subtitled “ If a relaxing moment turns into the right moment, will you be ready?” This will be an ironic survey of the side effect of man in perpetual drug induced erection. I think it will have lots of farcical far-side influenced caricatures and probably will no doubt, be a laugh. She will dedicate it “with best regards” to the late “Ronald ‘orgasmotron’ Velasquez” who was famous for saying “After taking Penis Enlarge Patch your dick will be big enough to reach your mouth”. Well I imagine “in the past, this has been very embarrassing”
One day I was sick of this talk. I just wanted to “forget about” all these “ ED problems”. I turned to “Richard Rich” and said “In Chechnya they call you “the man with a bullet in his head” for your pluck.” But “As Piggy says, life’s scientific but we don’t know do we. “ They” all “looked at me with revulsion”
My crazy Grandfather was often known to bellow - “My hell, and Ireland’s, is in this life”. He was a troubled visionary with many stories to be told. The lack of integrity of the corporate political masses would drive him insane. He said “things were more or less managed on a need-to-know basis” “Sometimes he wanted to shout at them” – “I Vidimo, rodnik…na poedinok v tot zhe god…On zhe svetoch, poimaesh okazalsia v ee rukah” - (this, he told me was an ancient eastern dialect) which he translated to “ I have become, it seems to me, the apex of an isosceles triangle, supported by twin deities, the wild god of memory and the lotus-goddess of the present.”
He told me about a time during the war, when a fellow soldier was brought to order on the rape of a village girl. He said “ Ampleforth marched clumsily out between the guards, his face vaguely perturbed, but uncomprehending. He still seemed out of breath”. The girl was with a woman of the village. He said – I will never forget “ the girl’s face stained with dirt and tears, holding the woman’s arm looking up at her for a sign to cry.”
He divulged once that “thirty different species of birds visited him and sat on the sill outside his shuttered window conversing about this and that” and that a long time ago while out on a boat he had witnessed an ancient sea creature briefly, - “it rises to the surface and turns its belly, which is covered with fine hairs, upwards into the air” before sinking slowly back to the watery depths, he re-counted. He had captured this in drawings and “his hands began to tremble” as “he laid the pictures carefully on the desk”. This was a magical moment and one of many. Another time he handed me a beautiful stone, a stone of special properties, he said, it had been entrusted to him by an old soothsayer in the mountains, (again somewhere in the east). He described how his friend “Wingover took the crystal, and the green color faded from the mage” He said this was all part of solving the riddle of this time and “When that day comes I will have something that they don’t have”. But now, he said “only one problem remained, which had no picture at all, but only letters”.
The last piece of advice he left me with was “ To manually move the robot just place it anywhere else on the map”
He passed away many years ago. “An extra route has been created in the routing table” now. Sometimes I wish I could “choose reset to restore the default library”
Anyway “Good health to you” my friends
Julie
Ps “My dog and are still alive : )”
Pps “play again by pressing the space bar”
The EDD Diary #1 - "But why the witches' Jelly?"
Who Doesn't Like a Large Penis? Log 1 week ending 22/6/07
By 5pm Friday I have received 20 emails to entice me out of my dissatisfaction with my Erectile Disfunction Disorder and to take action!
Because it is an "Orgasm Evolution" and I must "Always be ready!" So I can be all I can be with my "Maestro Penis"
No longer worried that I can't satisfy my girlfriend, can't give her orgasms, afraid she is meeting with someone else who is better than me in bed. Because "Hey, body, it's your fault!" No! I can fix that with my "Supersex" "Penis Launcher" " Who doesn't like a large penis? Men like having them and women love receiving them"
Now I am ready for up to 36 hours, so I can just sit back and relax ( can some man en-lighten me as to how you can possibly relax when you have a constant "boner" for 36 hours?) and take my time choosing the right moment. It is all on now - "Penis vs wet pussies"
"Ah, my good lord, I grieve at what I speak, And am right sorry to repeat what follows. He took a jug of water and drank from it. But, by God, I was lost, so to speak, in the milky way. What this company is offering you is probably a legend, full of lie. But, during a dangerous time for Poland, when Boudienny's Red cavalry was advancing on Warsaw, Wrangel had helped the Poles by breaking out of the Crimea and marching toward the Ukraine. But you and I, we two are naturally aware of that, aren't we. I love the dead.
But why the witches' jelly."
Julie
By 5pm Friday I have received 20 emails to entice me out of my dissatisfaction with my Erectile Disfunction Disorder and to take action!
Because it is an "Orgasm Evolution" and I must "Always be ready!" So I can be all I can be with my "Maestro Penis"
No longer worried that I can't satisfy my girlfriend, can't give her orgasms, afraid she is meeting with someone else who is better than me in bed. Because "Hey, body, it's your fault!" No! I can fix that with my "Supersex" "Penis Launcher" " Who doesn't like a large penis? Men like having them and women love receiving them"
Now I am ready for up to 36 hours, so I can just sit back and relax ( can some man en-lighten me as to how you can possibly relax when you have a constant "boner" for 36 hours?) and take my time choosing the right moment. It is all on now - "Penis vs wet pussies"
"Ah, my good lord, I grieve at what I speak, And am right sorry to repeat what follows. He took a jug of water and drank from it. But, by God, I was lost, so to speak, in the milky way. What this company is offering you is probably a legend, full of lie. But, during a dangerous time for Poland, when Boudienny's Red cavalry was advancing on Warsaw, Wrangel had helped the Poles by breaking out of the Crimea and marching toward the Ukraine. But you and I, we two are naturally aware of that, aren't we. I love the dead.
But why the witches' jelly."
Julie
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